Archive for February, 2011

New Android Phone

I have the Samsung Epic.

It’s friggin’ huge!

Anyway, I’m now on Sprint. Same phone number as before.

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Libyan Update

The socks are still not free from Gaddaffi’s bum. The war is on for FREEDOM.

Just when it looked like there  were going to be protests in Tripoli, police came and crushed them. I was like, “Aw, come on, man!” The rest of the world seems to agree with me. This is about keeping my gas prices low, so the spice oil must flow!

Okay, I know people in Nebraska aren’t ignorant about sex, since we have ton of pregnant teen-agers around here. The local TV apparently had to tell us all what a “girlfriend experience” is. Like whether it goes beyond second base or not. Personally, I find it a bit hilarious that people had to investigate this on TV. In Nebraska. Which is totally one of those “OMG he just said the S word!” states.

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Muammar Gaddafi is standing behind a podium, preparing for a speech with one of his closest advisors standing next to him. The cameras all trained on him, the glorious leader begins.

Muammar: My fellow Libyan citizens, today we have come together to discuss a very important subject that concerns all Muslims everywhere.
{A little applause}
Muammar: Peace in the Middle East is being threatened, Israel is out of control!
Muammar: So let’s get to the root of this evil question  – where are my socks?!!?
{silence, people look at each other}
Advisor: (whisper) Uh, you’re wearing sandals, Supreme Leader.
Muammar: So I am! And call me Muammar, damn it!
{Uncomfortable coughing from the crowd, advisor stares at Gaddafi’s unraveling turban}
Advisor: (whisper) Uh, Mr. Muammar sir, about your turban … are those your pants???
{Gaddafi rips open his robe, revealing that he’s wearing nothing but a speedo with the Libyan flag on it)
Muammar: I’m keeping my socks safe from Western Imperialism! UP MY BUM!!! Long live Libya! Long live my socks!
{The advisor starts inching away from Gaddafi}

Yeah, it’s like exactly like that.

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This is primarily a link for my friend Lord Omlette:


It’s a turn-based strategy Flash game that emulates trying to survive a zombie apocalypse while reclaiming a city. You have to recruit survivors, build buildings, fend off hordes, expand your new city walls, keep people happy and fed, etc. It’s actually really good, and really addictive.

I know that Omlette has a giant fear of zombies, and this would be a good exercise for him in case of a zombie apocalypse.

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Oy, What Are You Really Bad At?

Here’s an article released by my local TV station that outlines all the things states should be embarassed by. Just cycle through and look at your state. And all the other states.

Nebraska? Highest rate of murdered women. I’m like WTF? But after reviewing all the evidence, they’re right. For some reason, people have a fetish killing women in Nebraska. >_<

New Jersey? Highest taxe rates. Thanks Christie, you and  your douche predecessors have turned New Jersey into an expensive wasteland no one wants to live in (but is forced to, due to the sad state of the economy).

Colorado? Loves the cocaine. I would have been surprised, but it makes perfect sense. It would explain all the looney bullshit that comes out of Colorado and bleeds into Nebraska. I wouldn’t be surprised if our high female murder rate came from crackheads in Colorado crossing the border to rob girls fo their money and kill them.

Iowa? Highest population of 85+ year-olds. Hahahaha, old people bringing down Iowa.

Florida? Highest level of IDENTITY THEFT. Which is again, the guillible old people giving away their IDs.

Indiana? Worst environmental friendly. Which does not surprise me, since NRAhab lives there. >XD

Washington? Highest beastiality cases. That’s because it’s FURRY territory (I’m looking at you NEKODAIMYO). LOL

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My excursion to the Max bar went well. My wife and I actually danced a lot!

It’s been awhile since I talked about my top ten music list, and I did some analyzing about what people want to hear from their request lists. The top spot is still David Guetta, but that’s because he has like seven big songs that people love to dance to, so it just flips between what people felt like dancing to that night. The Guru Josh Project‘s Infinity moved up, as well. I think it’s because the song changes up the tempo a few times, making it a fun song to dance to. I have altered the list to represent that.

My recent analysis shows that once I threw Basshunter into the mix, it shot up the top ten request list. Most people have heard Dota and like that song, but when I played Now You’re Gone, people went nuts! “We want more of that!” is the comment I got a lot. I guess I’ll have to put it at position 5, where it landed.

Also, All I Ever Wanted? That’s the same thing as Dota (Dota is the German version). So stop asking to hear both within the same hour. LOL

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Well, reading about CPAC was interesting. It’s mostly showing how fractured the GOP is. It’s like you have the GOPride on one side, anti-gay rubes on the other, Ron Paul yokkels or regular Republicans in the middle, and then the Tea Party (which goes to prove they are an offshoot of the GOP) on the sidelines. Weird as it was, it also proves something I’ve suspected for a long time –

The GOP has no concrete leader, no strong 2012 candidate.

Donald Trump made his move, but I seriously doubt anyone would vote for Forrest Trump. His horrendous speech about how the world needs to suck up to the US proves he is another Kool-Aid drinker. We don’t need that shitty attitude in foreign affairs. Pushing the arrogance and over-patriotic rhetoric is not helping the US. I’m sure he’s just seriously pissed off that the Germans are buying out his precious little Stock Exchange. Call a waaaa-bulance.

Ron Paul’s supporters are more enthusiastic about him running for President in 2012 than he is. And Trump shat on them as well. Other than Jim DeMint running around to battleground states, I don’t know who the Hell is going to be in the running. Chris Christie might as well bow out now, since he has created a new meaning to Jersey Devil. I’ll stick with my previous predictions.

On the Egyptian track, their military is now caught between a rock and a hard place. While they verbally announced that they were supporting Mubarak until his departure in September, they also haven’t done anything to prove they are truly behind Mubarak. They aren’t shooting, arresting or stopping protesters, which is a clear sign that they aren’t helping Mubarak’s cause. In fact, the protests seem to have scared Mubarak out of Cairo to his Red Sea hideout. My analysis is that the Egyptian military is presently suffering a little confusion about what role they should play, and how to support the protesters without starting a civil war. And Mubarak knows this.

And if Mubarak doesn’t follow through in the Fall, I think the military will turn on him. Violently. I don’t think they approve much of VP Omar Suleiman, although he heralds from their ranks. If one of them, or both of them, are removed forcibly, then the protesters will drag the members of the corrupt Parliament out into the street and kill them. It’s only a matter of time now.

UPDATE: Just as I posted that Egypt analysis, Suleiman announced to the Egyptian people that Mubarak has officially stepped down and is leaving. And the celebration I just witnessed on the TV was phenomenal. The military is in charge for a bit until the opposition and other leaders step up to make a deal. Which could be rather quickly in this case. Since the US-trained Egyptian military seems to know what they want to do now.

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