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http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/news/a38750/food-babe-blog-vani-hari-criticism/?fb_action_ids=10205847869943370&fb_action_types=og.comments

WTF, he’s posting again? After such a long absence?

Yep, let’s see who we get from the troll anti-GMO, Food-Babe Lemming Army.

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Okay, unless you lived under a rock, there’s this story where three women were held captive for ten years in a house in Cincinnati. They were just rescued. So while most news people are talking about their plight and the ladies themselves are trying to sort out their lives, Rush Limbaugh is complaining that they might get double welfare for becoming victims to their captors.

I’m with the group that thinks he’s just yapping controversial bullshit to keep just enough people listening to him in order to stay on the air.

In other good news, Jodi Arias was finally called on her bullshit and found guilty for murder. I don’t think she needs the death penalty, but life in prison sounds rather fitting.

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Cake Thieves

Inter-office email is awesome. And by awesome, I mean it’s incredibly hilarious in that there are always mass emails that have absolutely nothing to do with half the office, but certain folks assume that the entire office should be aware of their problems. In fact, we have one gentleman – his name is Raymond – whose singular job apparently is to send out mass emails about the craziest and stupidest subjects that have probably already been broadcast to the rest of the group. He sits in the cube RIGHT NEXT TO THE VICE-PRES’ OFFICE. No favortism there – he’s a glorified secretary (although we already have an office secretary).

For example, we got an email from the building’s security office stating this:

The National Weather Service has issued a severe weather warning for our area until 6 pm. Winds up to 50 mph and heavy rain, possibly hail. If you are leaving during the warning, please be aware of your weather surroundings. If you are here when severe weather threatens our site, please take note of the severe weather shelter plans that are posted about the floor. Thank you.

Not even two minutes later, we get this email from Raymond:

Letting you know that we’re in a severe weather warning for our area. We might get some super heavy winds and maybe some hail, so be careful when going out to your car. If severe weather threatens our building, please refer to the plans that building security has posted about the floor.

What is funny is that he actually REPLIED TO ALL on the notice just sent out from Building Security. So I get an extra worthless email with every event that goes out mass email. Here’s another example, first from HR:

Please refer to the chart for what shoes are allowed per the dress code for summer. Thank you. (Large chart with pictures of shoes)

Here’s Raymond’s mass email three minutes later, attached to the HR email:

Here is the summer footware allowed by our dress codes. Please note that flip-flops and tennis shoes are on the no-no list. I will notify HR if I see you wearing inappropriate footware at work.

Ah, so now are we not only getting the SAME mass email resent to us, but we now know who the snitch in the office is. I’m sure Raymond will enjoy random bugs and stuff in his coffee.

So this brings me to our most recent mass email from Raymond. We have rules about the lunch room. HR sends out this email in the morning:

It has come to our attention that some people are taking and/or eating food that does not belong to them from the fridge in the lunch room. It is company policy that doing so is considered theft and will be dealt with according to company policy. Thank you.

An hour later, poof! An email from Raymond with the HR letter attached!

I have informed HR of missing food items in the lunch room. Someone – perhaps several of you – has/have been eating my cake. If I find out who it is, I will turn you in ASAP and there will be dire consequences for violating company policy regarding my cake.

It wouldn’t have been more than a blip on my email radar, save at the top, the subject is RE: Cake thieves – you know who you are, and he states there are company policies regarding his cake. So now it’s on – I have to fire something back at him.

Raymond –
I don’t know who is eating your cake, but perhaps there is some sort of misunderstanding. I mean, when people see cake in the fridge, they probably think “Hey, someone had a birthday and there is leftover cake! I should eat this before it goes bad and tell my coworkers about it so they can help me!” We have policies regarding food left in the fridge for too long, so maybe someone’s trying to help you. Just a thought.

I knew he’d write me back, and he does so, CCing the VP:

That is impossible. My cake was clearly labeled with my name on the plastic cover in black permanent marker. It also had a fork from my home silverware set sitting on the cardboard bottom, and now that the thief has eaten my cake and thrown away the container, I am missing a fork as well. If you know who is responsible, it would be in your best effort to tell (VP) and me. Or you’re just as guilty and you may suffer consequences, possibly being fired.

Hmmmm. I think I know what happened to Raymond’s cake, but before I get to that, I really have to reply to the “getting fired” comment. Who gets fired over cake? If my company is firing people because of cake, then things are much worse than I thought.

Raymond –
Well, it seems highly suspicious that someone would throw away the container with your cake and fork after eating your entire cake. Let me ask you this – are you sure you brought cake in? Maybe you were imagining you had a cake in the fridge and that some imaginary person ate your imaginary cake. Because I really doubt that anyone stole your cake.

Oh man, I just accused Raymond of having an overactive imagination. Now he’s mad.

I know I had cake in the fridge. I did not just “imagine” it. It was given to me by VP for my birthday last week. I ate two slices on Friday, and on Tuesday, the remaining cake mysteriously disappeared from the fridge. The fact that you are responding to me and arguing with me makes me think you are hiding something. Maybe your guilt for eating my cake. IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING, YOU BETTER TELL US.

Whoa whoa, Raymond. Calm down. Maybe sitting there with nothing to do has frayed your nerves a bit. It’s just cake FFS. I love the fact that you are threatening me with stealing your cake and are YELLING for a confession. One more question:

Raymond –
So the cake has been there since Friday? You did not take it home with you? You did not feed it to your dog or your wife or your dog wife? You did not accidentally throw it away yourself? You did not consume it with your magical mind powers while writing mass emails? Just checking – this is vital to my investigation into the Case of the Missing Cake.

Here it comes:

One, I am not married and I do not have a dog. I did not take my cake home.
Two, I did not “accidentally” throw it away. Are you applying that I’m a clutz with Alzheimers?
Three, now you’re being insulting and I do not appreciate your implications.
Four, I think you are the cake thief. VP, I think Nate ate my cake on Monday.

LOL. I search through my email from last week, from Poppy – another manager over here in my building on my floor. I take care to attach it to the email chain before I respond:

Raymond –
I have solved the Case! Please refer to the following mass email by you and Poppy.

RE: Subject: Disgusting Fridge
From: Raymond
You heard Poppy. Please remove your leftovers from the fridge on Friday or they will end up in the trash. She’s even listing containers, so you might want to check the fridge and get them out.

Subject: Disgusting Fridge
From: Poppy
Just letting you know that we have a policy here that states that you cannot just leave food in our fridges for longer than three days. Our fridge has become packed with abandoned food, so on Friday after work, I am going to clean out the fridge, regardless of who it belongs to. Some people have written their names on their containers, so I’ll list them here:
Cathy – salad container
Mike – Lunch bag
Raymond – cake container  <—-
Polly – Sandwich container
Please pick them up ASAP or they are going in the trash on Friday. Thank you.
 

THERE YOU GO. CASE CLOSED ONCE AGAIN BY DETECTIVE NATHAN, INTEROFFICE CRIME SOLVER

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Well, it’s apparent that Russia does.

The Victory Day party in Moscow ended with no one single drop of vodka left in the country.

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Because, really, this post concerns all three things.

First, if you haven’t read Felicia Day’s Google+/Facebook/whatever, here’s an article you should take a look at:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/tarabrown/2012/03/26/dear-fake-geek-girls-please-go-away/

First, what makes this funny is that this is the wife of Sean Bonner, a Safecast slash coffee geek, wrote this article. She’s trying to be funny, I can tell. Others cannot tell so much, so it’s kind of painful to read the responses to her article on Google+ and 4Chan. Anonymous does not like to be associated with Forbes, apparently. LOL

Second, I wanted to address this from my education side – my psychology/sociology degree. I wrote this in response to Felicia Day’s post:

“I’m a psychology/sociology major. In reality, while it would be nice that people accept newcomers whole-heartedly into their culture, it’s the exact opposite 90% of the time. There are fears of dilluting the core premise of the culture with people who only want to identify with the popularity of that culture. It’s a defensive mechanism, to protect that which makes you unique.

“While I’d love to see geeks embrace non-geeks, I’m afraid it won’t really go the other way. What will most likely happen is that the posers will infiltrate the geek culture and then turn it into their own. And then exclude the real geeks. As they’ve always done in the past. Since being “geek” means an increase in earning and power in the digital age, there are going to be non-geeky people infiltrating the culture in the hopes of getting in on the upward mobility. Fortunately, it’s very hard to “pose” as a geek or nerd, since you have to prove it. Eventually, the poser will out him or herself, and move on. But there will be no end to the amount of people who will attempt to get into the geek to ride on the coat tails. To unfairly reap the benefits others have sown. Or to dillute the power of the geek, and bring it down out of jealousy.

“But that’s life, people. It’s happened to every group. As long as there’s something to be gained, you’re going to get moochers and con-artists hoping to abuse/play the system. Girls and guys pretending to be “geeks” that are not even close are an example of this. Look at how non-sports people are always infiltrating the sports fan culture – you see it happening all the time.”

I’d also like to add that there’s a billion different types of geeks, and to geek out about something really isn’t exclusive to what we normally think of as “geek.” The reality is that what was identified as “geek” in the past was normally considered a fringe group, or outsiders, to normal society. Geeks have been outsiders for so long that people who are merely trying to pose as geeks are going to get spotted and hated fast – how can you be in the popular cliques and then try to identify as an outsider?

That’s a valid point and concern. Geeks have been ostracized and hurt for so long, we don’t want our oppressors and critics joining our ranks for the popularity/power we just obtained. I say “we” because I am part of society’s regular outcasts. REPRESENT! LOL

The girls that the author is talking about? Most of them appear to be young girls who are still concerned about popularity. Some people – especially young people – need to be wanted. There’s a ton of popularity and attention on the Internet. Who hangs out on the Internet a lot? Geeks. How do you get their attention and fit in? Act like a geeky girl who likes geeky things.

Anyway you look at it, trying to be something you’re NOT is a problem for everyone. It makes you look like a fool and insults the core group. It’s the same for nerds and geeks – try to infiltrate the group for whatever ulterior reasons and you’re going to be caught and rejected. People react badly to those who act disingenuous. So just don’t do it. For your sanity and reputation.

EDIT: I really wish every geeky girl was as good-looking as Felicia Day. I don’t have a problem with some girls acting like geeks, even if they aren’t geeky at all away from the Internet. But I know a lot of geeks who will cut the girl’s throat if they ever found out and met her in real life. Which is sad, but unfortunately the way people act about their cultures.

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I’m Tired

Anyone else tired? I think it’s the lack of good sleep lately. I sleep hard for a few hours, then I wake up for no reason whatsoever (although I feel like I’m getting ready to grab some assassin’s arm and kill him), and then I go back to sleep. I’d like some uninterrupted sleep, thank you. Maybe it’s the weather. Or the air quality. Or something.

Granted, it’s not every night, but it’s a few nights when I really want to get some decent rest.

The top search for my blog these last two weeks has been “cow cosplay.” I’m not sure why people are trying to locate cow cosplay, but they’ve come to this blog in search of it. I’m a bit weirded out. This is the Internet, after all, but I really don’t want to learn what strange, deviant behavior people are into. Knowing what NekoDiamyo and Jean Luc Pikachu/Lord Omlette are into is plenty for me.

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I just had to say that because everyone else I know online seems to be doing podcast interviews. I’d probably come off as a total spaz if I did one, but if you like people going a little nuts on your podcasts, I volunteer to do it for free. Lulz.

So Rick Santorum. He won the Minnesota primary, the state that Michele Bachmann was supposed to win. Ask me if I’m surprised. Do it! (The answer is NO, in case you are confused, although I predicted a Gingrich win before he became the most despised man in the primary) Mitt still leads the delegate race, and will probably do better in the Northwest and the West Coast, where the numbers are huge. I expect the second place winner of the GOP nomination to be Ron Paul. I expect Newt Gingrich to DIAF drop out on Super Tuesday. It’s just Rick Santorum’s turn to surge, since Gingrich, Paul, Cain and Bachmann all had their turn in the limelight. Eventually, when the delegates finish voting, I doubt they’ll choose “Ricky.” LOL

If I learned anything about this year’s Primary, it’s that the GOP has no clue who should be their nominee. And that the GOP is all about electing trending pop stars. Or hookers. Or crazy people. Half the party is religious NeoCon retards, and the other half is just retarded period.

Oh, I wanted to say something about video games. What was it what was it …? Hmmmm. Oh! It was about this thing this guy said at GDC about how stories are a waste of time in video games. He said it’s stunting the growth of the industry. Well, I have something to say to him (and the biased author of that article on 1-Up:

“If your point is that when game developers put story ahead of the gameplay gaming suffers, then yes, I agree. But I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. What Jeff is trying to say is that stories are not important AT ALL to the gaming industry. And that’s flat-out wrong. Multiplayer combat games are a genre of their own, so story is not important there. But even they are declining in players, mostly because either the developers are ruining the genre by saturating the market with so many FPS multiplayer games or the games they put out require me to pay $9 a month to get patches and maps when I already pay $15 for my online subscription on a console, and then another $40 on my actual Internet connection.

“Stories make awesome games. Look at the Mass Effect series. Look at Gears of War. Look at Metal Gear Solid. Look at Dragon Age. Look at most MMOs. Look at anything RPG that’s sold more copies than MW4. Those things tell elegant stories and had excellent concept art and other things tied into the whole creation of the game. Granted, I won’t play those games as much as the multiplayer genre, but the fact is –

“FPS/RTS MULTIPLAYER GAMES ARE NOT THE ONLY GENRE IN THE BUSINESS, AND THINGS LIKE WOW AND SKYRIM ONLY BRING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE INDUSTRY. IF THEY STOPPED MAKING GAMES WITH GOOD STORIES, I’M SURE HALF THE GAMERS IN THE WORLD WOULD STOP PLAYING CONSOLE GAMES. AND GO PLAY D&D ON THE PC. OR GO BACK TO READING. OR PLAYING RPGs AT COMIC BOOK STORES.

“Fuck that, I’m almost tired of MW4, Battlefield 3 and other multiplayer FPS/RTS games. Those games require my interaction with hooting dickholes on a regular basis. If the gamer community is slowly converting into just blaring assholes with a microphone and an XBox/PS3/PC, then screw that. Fat, lazy morons living with their mommies and retarded button-mashing, sploit-using kiddies play games in communities like that. Jeff should start his own company and get ignored like the lazy, half-assed developer that he is.”

Peace!

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