Please, help. I’m dying of laughing over here.
Who touched my chair?
Oh good lord. Are we back to this again? Someone probably bumped his chair squeezing past it to use the fax machine*. I have to remind myself this is dramaking emailing everyone.
Hey, is this like that game “Who cut the cheese?” Because that game is a good one. The answer is usually, “He who smelt it dealt it.”
Of course, I think my constant snarky replies are now starting to kill the fun, because everyone is joining in. Man, that sucks. Stop ruining my fun, everyone else!
I would guess that it would be you, Raymond, since you have to touch it to sit in it.
What happened to your chair? Did someone do something awful to it? Was it molested? I need more details here.
Come on, people, you’re being insensitive!
This is not a joke. Someone pushed my chair so far under the desk that the arms are wedged tightly against the top. Now I can’t get it out from under the desk without janking on it and toppling/scattering all the stuff on top of my desk. This is not a funny prank.
I agree. That was very mean. I mean, how can Raymond Noodle-arms sit down if he can’t get his chair out from under the desk. His stuff might get disturbed in the process. Time for solutions.
You could just use the little lever on the chair.
I thought that was sufficient to help. I was not aware that Raymond was a total idiot. He replies to all when he replies to me. So the chain keeps going!
Pulling on the lever still doesn’t help me get my chair out from under my desk without spilling everything on it. Besides, I can’t get a good grip on it to tug firmly.
Wait, what? Are you serious? I hope you – the reader – have figured out what I meant, because Raymond is still trying to yank his tightly wedged chair out from under his desk.
I think he means push the lever down, Raymond.
Thank you, Tim!
What good will that do? I pushed it down and pulled. I still couldn’t get a better grip on it even with the lever pushed down. If you guys can’t be helpful, don’t respond!
Jesus H. Christ. Are you SERIOUSLY kidding me? This is retarded!
Push the lever down, and then push down on the chair seat. It will lower your chair down and then you can easily roll it from under the desk. ROCKET SURGERY!
I guess it worked (?) because that’s no longer the complaint in his next email.
Still doesn’t answer who touched my chair. I would like to know which one of you reprobates thought it would be funny to wedge my chair under my desk. This was no light tap or push!
DAVID TO THE RESCUE!
The facilities guy came over to retrieve the 100 pound file cabinet you had shoved into the back corner of your cube. They couldn’t get the dolly in there without pushing your chair under the desk. Stop blaming the rest of us for something we didn’t do.
MYSTERY SOLVED. CRISIS AVERTED.