That’s as cheery as I’m going to be for the rest of this post, because I hate this day with a passion that burns like the fire of a billion suns. Don’t take this as I don’t appreciate my loved ones on this day, I just don’t feel it in my heart that today should be a holiday.
I think the problem is that we should just call this “Escalation Day.” This is what happens if you start participating in Valentine’s Day:
1. You send your loved one something simple. Your coworkers’ loved ones do, too. Your loved ones talk about how they love X or Y and wish their loved ones would have sent X or Y.
2. Your loved one comes back and tells you about how this person got X and this person got Y, and while not complaining about what you got them (we’ll call that Z), they state that it would have been nice to get X or Y.
3. You sit around and think about it, all year, until January 20th comes around. Then you decide you are going to one-up those coworkers’ loved ones with a bigger gift (a Z+). Their coworkers’ loved ones are thinking the same thing, that they must one-up Z somehow.
4. Valentine’s Day arrived and now there’s X+, Y+ and Z+ being delivered. Your loved one compares notes with their coworkers again. And now they come back and repeat step 2.
5. You repeat step 3, which then repeats step 4, only now it’s escalated to X++, Y++ and Z++.
Of course, it continues to escalate with each year, until you buy 30 roses and a diamond watch/bracelet. Their loved ones manage to book Rob Stewart and air-drop a truckload of chocolate. Now it’s a $600 holiday, which happens right after your $500 holiday two months ago (Christmas). Not to mention when you celebrate their birthday and your anniversary with unGodly expensive gifts.
I don’t place all the blame on the girls who ask for this kind of escalation. We men seem to enable them, and raise the expectations every year. Almost to impossible levels. I took my wife on a train ride through the mountains one year, and I’ll never live that down. She expects me to top that every year now. Urg.
And all the single people around you have to sit there and observe it, because you made such a show out of it. Everywhere they turn, they see reminders that they are single and getting no heart-shaped cards today (unless their parents send one). No wonder Singles’ Awareness Day is taking root – people truly hate the holiday more and more every year.
So I curse FTD, the jewelers and candy-makers who force me to play this damn game every year. But no more! I have a small, simple gift to give my wife, and I will do it at home. DIAF Valentine’s Day, and take the commercialized Halloween (aka Dress Like a Slut Day) with you.