So I got my pre-order of Saints Row the Third.
The plan was that I would get my copy, and my coworker Corey would get his, and we would get together to play for an hour or so together in co-op mode. Which worked out nicely, because I got through the opening, and by the time I asked to join his game, he just got done with the opening.
The opening is pretty much an epic tutorial. A bank robbery gone haywire, and then a shoot-out on an airliner, followed by a shoot-out in freefall. That entire scene is why I love this license – Saints Row can be over-the-top insane, and still be very enjoyable. I loved the dialogue, the cut scenes and how the story starts. Going from “I’m a rich asshole who’s gone soft” to “Holy shit now I’m broke in a foreign city” was very much interesting.
I joined Corey shortly after that. Together, we played for an hour and a half. Out of all that time, we only did two missions. The rest of the time, we mostly goofed off and explored Steel City. And that’s another great thing – I can pretty much get into as much trouble with gangs or cops while doing whatever I want and NOT RUIN THE GAME. We rode around in every car imaginable, and on motorcycles. We escaped from many gang raids by torpedo diving into passing cars. We bought a few properties and ran away to our hide-out to get rid of our notoriety. We beat up pimps and stole from hookers. Listening to the K-12 radio station (which is all dubstep) and the Adult Swin radio station (which is pretty fucking funny).
Moments of epic humor:
= Pierce and your character start singing along to Sublime’s “What I Got” adding their own personal touches to the song. Corey and I were singing along on our headsets, so it was like four guys singing. Badly. LOL
= Upon changing our outfits at Planet Saints, Corey came out wearing a gold blazer jacket and tight gold shorts. Nothing else. I said, “Dude, I am NOT going anywhere with you dressed like that.” And then a little bit later, found myself riding behind him on a police motorcycle, my arms around him as he did a wheelie. I had to say, “I hope no one can see this – this is incredibly ghey.” Cue Corey laughing hysterically.
= Fighting the Deckers, Corey grabs a thunder hammer thing. We found that one hit to a Decker car causes it to explode violently. “Let me know when the next car’s coming!” Corey tells me, “I gotta rape some bad guy ass with my hammer!” Cue massive explosion as Corey hammers a car full of Deckers. “Boom goes my dynamite! IN YOUR FACE!”
= The Pink Light District. There’s a building with a huge set of boobs on the front with neon stars over the nipples. I struck a Micheal Jackson pose in front of it, while Corey snaps a screenshot. I do the same. “Did you get my junk in that picture?” Corey asks, “Well? I’m waiting for you to shoot my junk!”
= After crashing headlong into a police car on a motorcycle (Corey driving), I went flying two blocks down. I stood up almost dead, and promptly said, “I am NEVER riding with you ever again!” “Aw, you’re a pussy,” was Corey’s reply.
= We found and stole the Gat Mobile. That’s right – a vehicle with a giant Gat bobblehead on the front. It’s a three wheeled car, and Gat’s cigarrette is a flamethrower. Corey banked it in his garage. SCORE!
= Looking at our cellphones, Corey said, “Hey, I got mail. Wow, I got $5k!” I promptly said, “KA CHANG CHA CHANG!” and dove out of the car to buy the Rim Jobs garage we were passing. “Road rash never felt so empowering,” I told Corey, “Now if we can only get out of that shithole they call our hideout …” to which he replies, “Hey, I happen to like our little shithole.”
Seriously, if my entire experience with this game is as fun as that hour and a half (which I’m told it probably will be by other people) then this is the greatest sandbox gangster video game I have played. More games need co-op like this.