So I went to this bar to chill with some coworker dudes. The bar was the Elite. It went fine until both coworker dudes hooked up with some chicks and disappeared. Actually, kinda happy for them.
Anyway, I’m standing @ the bar when some crazy chick starts talking to me. She’s getting hammered with her friend standing on the other side of her. I’m trying not to laugh and ignore her. Then she starts hitting on me. I told her, “I’m married,” like four times. “So am I,” she says back the last time. I show her my wedding ring and serious pretend not to really listen to her, but the stuff that comes out of her mouth is hilarious.
Two hours later, around 11, I’m talking to a programmer from India (whose last name is Jain btw) and her friend switches sides to stand next to me. “Dude,” she growls at me, “You don’t want to mess around with my friend.”
“Thank God you’re standing there. I was getting uncomfortable from your friend trying to pick me up,” I tell her, “I’m seriously not interested in a hookup or anything like that.”
She gives me a withering stare so I like shrugged and went back to standing there listening to the awesome DJ. Then, out of nowhere, crazy friend chick says – and I quote – “Seriously, don’t encourage her. She’s gay.”
At which I nearly choked on my beer from laughing. WTF? I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Stop making shit up,” I tell her, “I’m not interested in your friend. You don’t have to drive me off or whatever protective friend bullshit your doing.”
And that should have been that. We didn’t talk for the next two hours. But crazy lady’s friend then turns to me and … throws up on me. I’m like HEY WHAT THE HELL! and the bartender’s apologizing while motioning for a bouncer to eject the ladies. All five of us – bartender, bouncer, two insane chicks and me – go outside. The bartender continued to apologize but I was pretty much done with that place. I told him and the bouncer no hard feelings but I’m most likely going to avoid somewhere a chick barfed on me for awhile.
The bartender laughed. “I know I would,” he said, “Drunk bitches are annoying as Hell. Chances are they’ll be back here again.”
Yeah, I hate bars for that reason.