Archive for June, 2012

Washington DC

Today, Congress met to discuss how they would let future disagreements play out. Recent events – such as that law that just passed, the bad thing that citizens were bitching about, and that thing that was just declared Constitutional by the Supreme Court – has spurred present members of the Senate to try to find common ground with their opponents. Unfortunately, shortly after the session opened, the entire discussion broke down as they started arguing with each other about how to properly argue about things.

Those Guys were contacted by These Guys earlier last week as public opinion of Congress continued to sink into the single digits and then grow into the double digits in numbers on the other side of zero. “We wanted to create a bipartisan atmosphere,” one of Those Guys said, “Our disagreements were getting so out of control that we needed to establish some ground rules about future disagreements.”

These Guys agreed, acknowledged by their leader, that guy who Leads These Guys. “It is essential that our disagreements are polite, controlled and made open to the public,” he said, “In fact, These Guys have drawn up a proposal that we think the people of the United States would approve of, and Those Guys should find acceptable.”

As the week dragged on, media outlets supporting either Those Guys or These Guys presented the positives and negatives to agreeing on how to disagree. Local pundents and supporters of either group were extremely motivated to hold rallies and protest the meeting. Polls showed that both These and Those Guys were found equally appalling by the public on this issue. Older people were angry that their lives were changing, while younger people were angry that change was not happing fast enough.

Shortly before the meeting, another one of Those Guys went on the record standing on the steps of Capital Hill and saying that the proposal being brought before the session by These Guys had vast room for improvement. “You can see the influence of their special interest groups clouding the proposal,” she said, “It is clear that there is not enough of our own special interests involved.”

A member of the hardliner These Guys disagreed, standing a few steps higher than the previous Those Guys commenter. “It is unfortunate that Those Guys can’t seem to come together with the best interest of the richest American people at heart,” he lamented, “Instead, they have to have opinions, and pander to the far other side of where we stand.”

Another one of Those Guys was going to attempt to comment on the steps above the hardliner These Guys spokesman, but then a race broke out as members of both sides attempted to get the upper stair. Even after they reached the top of the stairs, they piled into the Senate chamber at full speed, where the Speaker called the session to order.

The first order of business was to talk about establishing new rules to disagree, but These Guys attempted a fillabuster. Shortly after, Those Guys moved to change the topic to one they were more comfortable discussing – blaming These Guys for not getting to the point. Things escalated as the Majority Leader accused the other party of being impossible to work with, prompting the Minority Whip and her comrades to quit the chamber. The vote went absolutely nowhere, and the Senate then adjorned for the rest of the month.

“Well, at least we agreed on one thing,” one of Those Guys said, “We need more time to disagree.”

Read Full Post »

I’ve actually been privy to the next incarnation of Dungeons and Dragons, and I can say that I am very receptive to what they are trying to accomplish. I like what I’ve seen so far, and having something to actually try out before it becomes the next ruleset is great.

I re-evaluated why I was so hostile to 4e and I realized that while I had reservations about the rules, it wasn’t the rules that made me dislike it. What made me dislike it was that I approached Mike Mearls with a few concerns shortly after launch, mostly hoping for a few errata clarifications. Instead, what I received from Mr. Mearls was a two page piece about why 4e was the greatest achievement in D&D history; why his vision of D&D made all other versions look like – and I quote – poorly written children’s games; and how my vision of RPGs was largely flawed in light of his own vision of RPGs. Here’s how he closed his letter, too.

I can say with absolute certainty that Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons is one of the most successful endeavors of Wizards of the Coast. With a designed lifespan of ten years, I think you will agree that it is a superior product designed for the gamers of this generation. I take great personal pride in knowing that my vision helped lift the game out of the jaws of oblivion, and that Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons will be around for another generation to play.

LOL! Ten years? How about three? How about 4e is having one of the SHORTEST runs in D&D history? Unless the next generation is playing it at 4 years-old, I doubt it will be around for them.

So what I truly hate about 4e is not the game, but the designer Mike Mearls. He can go fuck himself. Anything he writes for WotC will be critically evaluated by me from here on out, and I will probably avoid purchasing anything directly created by him.

Since his vision is so superior to my own.

Read Full Post »

Nearly every analyst weeks ago said that the SCOTUS would strike down the Individual Mandate. Every single God damn one of them.

They were wrong.

The funny thing is that people are now saying they are going to leave the US because they want to live where there’s “no universal health care.” Here is a list of every advanced, industrialized, happy democratic country in the world that doesn’t have universal health care:

There. So I hope you find what you are looking for. Dumb-asses.


I’m not really for the individual mandate, but I am completely on the side that CONGRESS PASSED THIS LAW, CONGRESS NEEDS TO FIX THIS LAW. Not the courts. Not the President. Not some guy in New Jersey eating a sandwich. We need the law – if they just fix the mandate so it doesn’t punish the poor, then we’re good. That’s the real issue here.

Only problem is that Congress won’t do anything because a) for the Democrats, it’s their baby, and b) for the Republicans, it’s something they can lord over the Democrats from now until eternity.


Read Full Post »

I love it when someone accuses me of trying to sound “pseudo-intellectual” when all I was trying to do was write something well.

That’s usually the attack of someone who felt my writing made them sound bad/inferior. That’s not my point, but if you felt that way, then maybe you should look at why you feel that way. Perhaps you should try to write something well, instead of cramming as many words into a post as you possibly can while considering profanity as appropriate “constructive criticism.” I’m not making you sound bad or seem less intellectual – you are doing that on your own.

And I had to rib the poor person (Izeya) about it. I told him/her that I apologized for trying to write well and keep my posts readable, and that I would lower myself to their standards to get my point across from now on.  I was making this face the entire time, too.


Honestly, I love trolls and this one might actually erupt spectacularly at my suggestion. LOL

Read Full Post »

Than the webcomics they are trolling.

I used to read Las Lindas weekly, but I found I had too many other comics to keep up with along with all my work, so I switched to a monthly look-see schedule. Just recently, a friend who is also a fan of Las Lindas told me to go and read the comments left by not-fans in the last few weeks. They said it might help me write some more interesting observations for the APA board on Internet behavior. Boy, were they right. I LOL’ed a lot.

I also tried to be helpful in a nice way, but got literally attacked by the troll as a “white knight” of the artist. Wait – how did my waning interest in the comic itself translate into being a huge fan? I realized that the five or six trolls (it may seem like more, but one guy keeps using alts to post the same complaints/insults) don’t want to hear, “If you hate it, that’s fine – go find a comic you do like and use your energy there to promote it. It would be more appreciated.”

The problem with most of the people’s critizisms with Las Lindas is that they aren’t really constructive. What they are is incredibly insulting and profanity filled. Guess what, people? That doesn’t work. You can only effect change if you use constructive criticizism. Saying, “Your comic has gone to shit” is not constructive. A lot of those people then hid behind saying something along the lines that they were being attacked by fans for being adequately “critical” about the comic. To those people, you weren’t being critical – you were hiding like cowards and went on the defensive when people called you on your – excuse my language – bullshit.

I could also sense that some thought their attacks on the fans would somehow bring about the downfall of the comic and get it off the Web. That doesn’t work, by the way. You’d have better luck successfully flying to the moon with a rocket strapped to your ass and a fishbowl on your head. Trying to rip the rug out from under a webcomic does not work. Go check out that website I’ve mentioned in the past – Your Webcomic is Bad, and You Should Feel Bad. Oh wait – you can’t. That was an attempt by the founder to run Penny Arcade, Dominic Deegan and a few other sites they hated off the Net. Guess what? The comics are still there years later. GG, dudes, but you lost. Lost your website, as well. LOL

On that same note, fanatical fans should probably keep the vitrol to a minimum when defending their favorite comics. Using profanity or trolling tactics in the reverse does nothing to deter morons. Trust me – I’ve played both sides of that argument, and it doesn’t pay to fight fire with fire. All that happens is everyone gets burned in the end.  Just ignore them and laugh at them on the forums. “Haters gonna hate” goes both ways.

Anyway, reading those comments was entertaining during my downtime. Thanks for the laughs. I’m sorry that they won’t take my words of advice because they are either too entrenched in hating something or they are too stupid to listen. I’ll be here later – you can leave your apology in my comments. XD

EDIT: I found the evolved version of “Your Webcomic is Bad.” It’s a wikia page now –> Bad Webcomic Wikia. I mean, it’s actually hilarious in most of the entries. There are some good, valid points which are buried under a ton of bad, poorly written points. The gold is buried in the crap (although the ridiculous crap can be extremely funny to read).

Read Full Post »


I LOL’ed.

Read Full Post »

A good friend of ours that we met at PAX 2008 – Gil Ruta – recently brought another charity to my attention. Gil is an interesting person – he works for Nintendo USA. We met him in line to play Rock Band 2 before it was released to the public. We played a lot of RB2 over XBL with him and his friends for months afterwards. I’ve played a few games with him here and there. He’ s one of my more active Facebook friends. His group is the Northwest Classic Games Enthusiasts, and their Seattle Retro Gaming Expo (or SRGE) happened over the weekend.

Gil does a LOT of gaming. So their charity was no surprise to me. What was a surprise to me was that they played a large scale Steel Battalion game at the Expo. That’s impressive – I remember playing a million years ago on the older XBox platform at a friend’s house. The controller was a massive thing and really brought you into the game. Nothing like today’s Kinect version of Steel Battalion, which has a bazillion bugs and doesn’t track your movements very well at all. He’s trying to act as Champion of the Wii-U. I don’t know if I’m going to buy another Wii just for the special controller dealie (although it keeps looking cooler and cooler with every developer who shows their game on it).

Kudos to Gil, though. His charity is for Camp Kesem. Summer kid camp for cancer families and survivors.

Read Full Post »

Co-worker vs Cow-worker

Someone asked me to describe my workplace and co-workers.

“This is a place of little intelligence that hires people of the same intelligence (with exceptions) to do high level, bulk work with little talent and low pay.”

“Let me give you an example. AT&T hired this company to manage their Internet services. These jobs used to be held by well-paid, well-trained people. It requires at least a basic idea of Cisco networking, mostly at the CCNP level. This company – two weeks before they needed to train the bodies for this job – hastily hired 15 random people. Only two had previous Cisco experience, only one of them (me) with CCNP level knowledge. They put us through a four week training program in which – due to this company’s stingy, cheap nature – we had no working systems to practice on. Until the very last week. We were then put on the floor, and turned loose, with two Subject Matter Experts (SMEs) from AT&T trying to help.

“On top of that, our Director turned out to be a crook. Literally. His investment company went under investigation a month after we started and was found guilty of fraud. The Director disappeared, but we know he quit and ran away to Florida, where he has started ANOTHER INVESTMENT COMPANY for retired people.

“Our Area Manager is a blonde moron. She doesn’t understand what it is we do, and she doesn’t care to learn. Furthermore, she doesn’t manage worth a shit – if something we need is broken, her solution is that we bug another department about it ourselves until it gets fixed. If we need her help, her answer is “You do it.” She does not back us up, or help us get what we need. She does not tackle problems or fools, but avoids them, because she believes in “non-confrontational management.” That is utter bullshit and does nothing but undermine our morale and desire to do a good job.

“So most of us sit around doing nothing. I do 70% of the group’s work, becauseAT&T trusts me to do it for them. The other 30% is done by the other knowledgable guy. The rest of them sit around making trouble. They are literally dumber than a box of rocks. Nice, but dumb. They constantly jack stuff up and take up the SME’s time. I can only stand to be around about four of them, and even they are so retarded that they qualify for the Special Olympics. Honestly, I stand amidst an ocean of morons.

“Our manager takes all my credit, although AT&T knows what’s up. They even ask on calls with the VP, AT&T asks if there is anyone who can take our manager’s place. The VP acts like this is a joke – she has no idea how to deal with the crazy stuff that goes on and our jobs. AT&T is going to leave soon, and take all the jobs with them. And all the money. And no one in upper management seems to care about losing a $500 million a year contract.

“In other words, it’s a sinking ship of fools and idiots. I’m a fool, an idiot. I joined this boat and I’m still standing on the deck. Until I get off this ship, I’m a moron for staying. But everyone else makes me look like Einstein.”


Read Full Post »

Yes? Can I Help You?

I got this email an hour ago -

It’s spelt “particular,” not “particulor.”

That was essentially it. I was thoroughly confused – I normally don’t make such blatant mistakes in spelling. I thought back to lunch, when I was talking to coworkers while drinking a Coca-Cola soda. Did I say particular and it came out sounding like it was mispelled? Maybe she overheard me there or something.

I don’t know this Debra person, but she did not include a previous email or letter or example (or whatever) as a point of reference.  What she did leave, however, was her email address. As any one reading knows by now, that is a big mistake. I capitalize on email debauchery like Tea Party politicians capitalize on the poor to booster their personal wealth. It’s part of my Derpublican pledge drive.

Cracking my fingers, I begin typing my reply to her email:

Debra -
I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware I was a redneck, so perhaps my spelling sensibilities went on vacation this morning. They are back, now, and I would like to know how I can make up for such a foul offense. Please let me know where I mispelled that particular word (hahaha get it?) and I will fix it.
Thank you very much for pointing out my error,

I thought to myself, “Maybe this person will realize she sent the email to the wrong fellow and be embarassed enough to avoid responding.” Water under the bridge, of course. No harm done – you made the obvious mistake of correcting the wrong guy. It happens.

But the next thing I know, I have another email from her:

Nate -
I don’t appreciate you snooping on my emails to other people. That was clearly not meant for you, and you clearly intercepted it.

Hmmmm. Automatically, she comes off as guilty of something. Ah! Office conspiracies! I do love a good conspiracy. I’m now incredibly intrigued – what was a case of simple mistaken email identity has evolved into CSI: Office Space. WWGGD (What Would Gil Grissom Do)?

Debra -
I’m sorry. I realize that I may have opened the wrong file on the server to reach my email box. This particular email grabbed my attention. I see your “friend” here mispelled “particular.” I am now very curious – did it the Great Spelling Fiasco of 2012 ever get resolved? And what about these interesting pictures? Hmmmm …

Of course, I’m entirely bluffing. She doesn’t know that, though.

Nate -
That’s none of your business.
If you are looking at the pictures I think you are, I will do whatever you want to not tell anyone about them, please.
I prefer to stay employed.

Oh ho ho! Someone’s storing naughty pictures on a work computer! I could go look for them, but I think this is waaaay more entertaining.

Debra -
Okay, that sounds fair. I mean, I kind of want to forget the pictures, given what’s in them. How about you leave a bag of M&Ms behind the trash can near the smoking area? You know the one – the green recycling one. I will immediately delete the copies from my drive.

I’m guessing I’m going to slip up here and give away that I haven’t seen any pictures or her emails ro anything. That she’ll know I’m full of shit. I wait for 10 minutes, thinking the whole thing is over, because 10 minutes is too long for a joke. But sure enough, right when I’m working on something else -

Nate -
I left the bag of M&Ms where you asked. Please delete the pictures from your computer and we’ll act like this never happened. I appreciate your cooperation and understanding. I don’t want to lose my job.

Okay, so let’s go downstairs and see if the M&Ms are where she said she left them.

Alright, a snack! Wonder what else I can wrangle up?

Debra -
Found them. Thank you, but these aren’t the kind with peanuts. If you can’t produce those, how about a Pepsi? Your photos languish on my hard drive.

By now, she should have looked me up on the system with my email and sought me out. Or called my boss. Or something. I assume since she’s working here that she’d be intelli – wait, nevermind. I’m hoping she doesn’t leave me a drink, this is too embarassing.

Nate -
Done. Please please please don’t show them to anyone and delete them now.

Hahaha, no way. This is a trap. I slink downstairs and check out the smoking area. No cameras I can see. No one watching the place – it’s a ghost town down there. So I carefully peer behind the trash can.

I feel bad. This is literally blackmail. Poor Debra. Guess I’ll come clean. After I eat my M&Ms, drink the Pepsi and belch loudly for a few minutes. Urrp! There.

Debra -
I feel really bad about all this. I never had any pictures – you sent that email to (my address) which may have been one letter off of who you meant to send it to. Since you were so nice, I put $2 behind the trash can. I didn’t have any change, and you were nice to spare yours, so let us call it even. Or better yet, promise me to check all your email addresses before you send out emails. Alright?

20 minutes later …

Nate -
Thank you for repaying me. Hope you enjoyed your snack. Gotcha – check the sendees on all my email prior to pressing send. That was super-embarassing. And no more non-work pictures on my PC, either.

All’s well that ends well. Urrrrp.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.